Third Week, Dealing with Mental Breakdown

To-Do List:

1. Recapping natives' attendance
2. Collecting paper for the Pancasila short quiz
3. Collecting stuff to teach Civic where students will discuss in groups the implementation of Pancasila values
4. Compiling labels to print (locker, folder, shoe rack)
5. Texting Ms. Rachel to ask for her help to review all the English termly plans that I've written
6. Reading GP framework and finish GP termly plan
7. Preparing materials for teaching GP on Wednesday
8. Preparing materials for teaching Literacy/Reading
9. Reminding students of setoran time: Tuesday and Friday
10. Discussing in class that we're not to chit chat in masjid (in response to Rika and Aliya's case reported by Kherin)
11. Discussing in class the responsibility to write journal (Fadel's case)
12. Asking Ms. Bela for a new journal book for Ayla

How the week went:

Alhamdulillah, I could manage almost all the things listed. It was not entirely literally done, but instead I found some alternatives to make them done. However, something just stroke my mind and feeling throughout the week. Ms. Vita got mad at Mr. Risal after she got invited for her supervision. She did not receive his feedback. She is said to be dominating everything at the school, which she "silently" declined. For that matter, in our "We Just Have Each Other" group, she spew out her disappointment with angry expressions. Coincidentally, she mentioned that she has tried to give other teachers some space to lead in some areas, including me. In other words, she needs to support other teachers' to develop and grow by providing some rooms of thinking and freedom of expression. However, Mr. Risal thinks that she does not really do that. She still tends to dominate every discussion by speaking too much. Once she said that she has tried to give us some space, including those who she has picked to assist her as the curriculum coordinator. Currently, I sit that position. However, she said that she actually wanted Mr. Didik, but unluckily the Yayasan moved him to SMP. Then she picked me. Knowing this, I got stricken and responded in the chat "I'm sorry if I can't support you as good as if it is done by Mr. Didik". After that, I just did not want to look at the group again. She has made me useless and less valuable. I just want some space, but still working professionally. Even if she doesn't want me, the show must go on, mustn't it? I will help her the best I can do, until this academic year is over, or until I get the BPI scholarship. Aamiin Allahumma aamiin.